Harry Potter and Wombo Jombo
by irlkg
Summary: well this is a harry potter story with his parents alive, a king, and yes, Voldemort is in it.
1. The Letter

There was a young boy walking down the sidewalk watching adults use their wands for whatever they were doing. Harry Potter was an 11 year-old boy who had 2 amazing parent wizards. There names were Lily and James. Harry wanted to become better than them and better than everyone who has ever done magic. As Harry was walking he heard some people singing. He decided to sing quietly.

_Peanut Butter Jelly Peanut Butter Jelly Peanut Butter Jelly with a Baseball Bat_

_Peanut Butter Jelly Peanut Butter Jelly Peanut Butter Jelly with a Baseball Bat_

_Now Break it down and Freeze Break it to your knees_

_Break it down and Freeze Break it down and Freeze_

Harry was getting bored so he decided to hum peanut butter jelly time. Eventually Harry got board of that to so he decided to whistle it. When Harry finally stopped he reached his house. He was hungry so he grabbed some gummy worms. When he looked at them they were real worms.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Dad you changed the gummy worms to real worms again didn't you?"

"Sorry Harry, they were supposed to be a prank for when Sirius comes."

"Sirius is coming? We were supposed to the leaky cauldron today."

"I know but Sirius and I haven't been to the leaky cauldron in quite a while. He's going to be sleeping over. If you get your Hogwarts letter soon he can come with us to diagon alley."

"I'm home. James, Harry, are you there?"

"I'm right here mom."

"Did dad tell you the news?"

"Yes, I am going to go to my room for a bit OK."

"OK."

Harry went upstairs and he sat on his bed waiting for Sirius to arrive. While Harry was thinking about what Hogwarts was going to be like a delivery owl appeared on his window. He paid it 5 Knuts and took the Daily Prophet and another letter though they were quite drooly.

"Great, another drooling owl."

As Harry put the Prophet down he realized that the letter was his Hogwarts letter. His mouth was surely to extend by many inches by how hard he was smiling. He ran downstairs to show his mom, dad, and possibly Sirius his letter.

"Hey Harry how are you?"

"I doing very fine and I also got my letter for Hogwarts, it came with the Daily Prophet when the delivery owl came."

"Let me see that, "said Harry's dad as he snatched the letter from him, "your going to be as cool as your dad with all the invitations to the best parties with hot babes and-"

"Did you say hot babes? You scored with hot babes?"

"Yep, you will also get invited to the older kid's parties and meet even hotter babes."

"I will meet even hotter babes?"

"Yes, but you will need to go to Switzerland to train for-"

"I don't know what you were going to say and I don't want to know."

"All right Harry go get some shut eye and we can go to the leaky cauldron and diagon alley."

"All right then."

Harry went upstairs and he couldn't possibly wait for tomorrow.


	2. Diagon Alley

As Harry woke up he realized it was only 6 o'clock. Harry wanted to go downstairs and just sit for a bit. As he went down he saw his parents and Sirius sitting and talking.

"Hey Harry, we were just talking about our lives at Hogwarts," said his dad "we also have big news. I'm going to be the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher."

"No. Why? How will I meet the hot-?"

"Really hot."

"How will I meet the really hot babes?"

"Harry, with your dad showing how much fun I could be they will imagine that you are funnier and better."

"But I already am."

"Don't push your luck Harry."

Lily and Sirius gave some giggles while Harry was in full disbelief. Harry thought deeply about his dad teaching him. He could be the best. He would be the best. He will be the best. He already read some books his parents use to own for Hogwarts.

"Why can't Peter or Lupin come with me, there your best friends to?"

"Harry, don't ask silly questions like that. Remus is the Minister and Peter works for the ministry big time."

"I'm going upstairs to get some stuff."

"You do that Harry."

Thoughts were racing through Harry's head. His father would be the DADA teacher. Harry wondered if he would get all the hot babes. He just sat there and sat and sat until his mom said it was time to go.

"Alright Harry, ready for the wizarding world, and all the hot babes that lie in it."

"You bet. I'm ready for some magic."

"Well will be taking Floo Powder."

Harry watched his dad and Sirius go first. As he went in he wasn't ready. But he said it very clearly and got to Diagon Alley. It looked like the most amazing place in the world. It had everything even the newest and fastest broom, The Mad Man 7. The Mad Men were the best brooms ever. Next were the Chaotic Riders. They were fast but not as fast as the Mad Men. Harry couldn't wait to try out for a team. They banned the rule where you must be at least a second year to own a broom or play on a team. He saw his dad looking at it with him.

"She's a nice one aint she."

"Yes dad, she is as nice as any babe you have ever seen or I will ever meet."

"I don't know about that. How much for the broom?" said his dad to the owner.

"You are not serious are you James."

"Peter, what you own the shop now?"

"I'll sell it to you for 1000 galleons."

Harry's dad paid the thousand 'cause he already went to Gringotts. He took it and gave it to Harry. He couldn't believe his eyes when it was in his hands. He was going to be on a team no doubt.

"But dad, all that money-"

"Remus helped me out."

"Let's go get my robes."

"All right, Sirius will come with you."

"We heard you bought the Mad Men 7."

"Yep, now Harry will definitely be on one of the Quidditch teams. Now he will get some-

"Yeah, by now we should know you, Harry Potter will be a girl magnet and meet triple the hot babes; is that what you were going to say James?"

"Am I that predictable?"

"Yes dad, yes you are."

"Harry, go with your mom, James and I want to talk to Peter."

"OK."

Harry went with his mom to get some robes at Robes for Retards. He went and got some robes at his size, no wait, they were his grandmother's size, anyway he got his robes and he saw a bunch of kids who had red hair. Harry went to go saw hello.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"So what are your names?"

"I'm Ron and these are my twin brothers, Fred and George."

"You're a Potter aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Can we have your aughtograph?"

"Who are you?"

"There just messing with you. There trouble makers, 3rd year.

"Ickle Ronnie is a firstie."

"So am I. I also have the Mad Man 7."

"That is impossible. It's a…a…a…a…a…a…a…a…a…a…a…big time accomplishment to be that rich."

"We aren't, my dad got money from the minister because they are best friends and it was only 1000 galleons."

"WHAT!? They are supposed to cost 2500 galleons! Who in the right mind would sell you that for that low!!! People are making the cost 5000 galleons! You got it for a thousand!!! My name is Ronald Weasley and I would be happy to be your friend."

"You already said your name and you want to ride the Mad Man 7?"

"Yes!"

"If we are both in Gryffindor you can ride it."

"Yes. My whole family is Gryffindor."

"Alright Ron, let's go to get our books at Big Head books."

"Let's go get our books," Ron started to rap, "_fe fi fo fum move out 'cause here I come. Ron, my name, I got no shame_-"

"Why are you rapping? You are really bad you know that don't you?"

"People say it makes me look…cute."

"Who, your mom?"

"No, my mom and my grandmother."

"You are weird and retarded, but so I am I and we all are happy."

"Hey Harry, you see that guy in green, he's a Moulthfoy."

"You mean a Malfoy."

"No, their mouths move too much to be called a Malfoy, they are Mouthfoys."

"That is absolutely retarded, but what would I expect from you?"

"I don't know what you would expect from me, Harry."

"Father I want a broom, all the other kids have one-"

"No! You poopy. You no get broom."

Ron whispered into Harry's ear, "Is that how they talk?"

"When you're a Malfoy you might as well talk that way.."

Harry and Ron went back and their parents were all talking together. Harry and Ron went to go get their potions stuff. When they got in they saw a tall man in black robes with a big pointy nose.

"I am the new potions master so I can get what need you got that. Do I need to teach you a lesson?"

"Snape? Serverus Snape? Is that you?"

"Who called me? Well I will be, another Potter, and I will be teaching him, what fun this year will be."

His eyes twitched when he talked. He left the shop.

"Was he trying to get his abnormally large nose into your business?"

"More than you know, he is extremely mad that your father got the Defense Against the Dark Arts job instead of him. You know he absolutely loathed your father, every time they passed each other people would just stare to see what would happen. They couldn't go one day without getting into a big fight. They turned each other into rats, horses, even unicorns; they fired every spell they knew against each other. Oh those times were the hardest to focus on your work."

"Harry, Ron, we have been looking for you for a while."

"Alright let's go home, Harry, you are going to stay over the Weasleys for one day."

"Sweet."

"Alright Harry come with us."

Harry went with them. He saw another girl with them.

"Who's that girl?"

"That girl is my mom you dumbo."

"The OTHER one you imbecile."

"Oh, that's my sister Ginny. She won't be starting Hogwarts for one more year."

"Ron, do you think that I can score with some really hot babes with you around."

"No Harry, with me around, probably not. Fred and George can't even score with some hot girls."

Harry just thought about the magical journey that awaited him. He had no idea what would happen.


	3. The Weirdo Weasleys

Harry went with Ron and his family back to their house. Harry couldn't wait to see Ron's room. He was thinking that it wouldn't be retarded unlike him. When they reached his house he saw Ron showing his room.

"Wow Ron, this room is amazing, it is not as close as retarded as you are. It really shows there is a side to you that is not retarded.

"Harry, first, every side of me is retarded, second that is Fred and George's room. My room is cooler."

They kept walking until they stopped at a room filled with girly stuff.

"Ron, this is your room?"

"Don't be retarded Harry, this is Ginny's room."

"This room is probably your dad. Is he a muggle freak?"

"Yes."

"Explains why he has all this muggle exercise equipment, I don't want to know why he has all this stuff."

"It is my mom's stuff. She says she wants to be a physically fit person so that she can become, well, you know."

Harry thought of the idea of Ron's mom being physically fit. The more he thought about it the less he wanted to know about this family.

"I have two other brothers. Charlie works in France with creatures like dragons, pixies, and a lot off other stuff. My other brother, hey that would be good for my next song."

Once again Ron started to rap.

"_I am Ron yo, rock the house and shake it up, yo yo, I have a brother from another mother, _actually I don't, I'm just saying that. Back to rapping!"

"No! Enough of your #$ $! rapping. Sorry you had to hear that."

"Yes. I finally mad someone angry from my rapping."

"You were trying…to make me angry."

"Harry, are you going to hit me?"

"No, but when we get our wands watch your back end."

"But-"

"No buts unless were talking about butts unless it is yours when I get my wand."

"Yes sir."

"Now march to your room."

"Hut two three four, hut two three four-"

"Ron, enough."

"O.k. My other brother Bill works in Brazil with the Gringotts headquarters."

"That is really far away."

"Do you like Quidditch Harry?"

"Of course, I love it."

"Did you see Luxembourg beat Mexico last year?"

"That was an amazing game."

"It sure was. Anyway, this is my room."

Harry saw all the cool Quidditch stuff and all these prank stuff like in Fred and George's room. 

"Ron, these must be some new Zonko products, am I correct?" 

"No, Fred and George make stuff like that. They are really good at it and they want to open up a shop in Diagon Alley when they leave Hogwarts. They say it is their dream to do such a thing and help other people in the pranking ways. They were born on April Fools Day.

"No surprise there. Anyway Ron, why do you have a picture of a little belly dancing kid, to be exact three pictures of a belly dancing dude?"

"Um…Well that is….My...My...My evil brother…yeah…my evil brother…sorry…my nice brother Tom... Yeah…Tom works…Those of my nice brother Tom belly dancing in a tournament, he won first place."

"If he is your brother why is his trophy in his room?"

"He left it as a gift."

"Sure he did."

"Fine you caught me. I was a premier belly dancer, the top of my league, then I quit."

"Why?"

"Because my mom told me this was a girl thing not a boy thing, Fred and George said Mexican chaser, Viktor Krum was a belly dancer. Oh I will get them back one day."

"No need to be ashamed Ron, but it really freaks me out. I mean it. It really does."

At that moment Ginny came in.

"Hi. I haven't introduced myself, I'm Ginny.

Harry nodded and shook hands with her. She left a little embarrassed.

"Dude she has a major crush on you. Do you like her?"

Harry was left speechless. He thought he might actually like Ginny. She was only ten. When he got older he would definitely ask her out.

"Please do not say you like my little sister. I will really punch you hard so I can get some sense back into you."

Harry had to keep his liking for Ginny to himself. He had to pretend he didn't like her, only to everyone except herself.

"I was just freaking you out Ron; you think I would hit one your sister, that makes me laugh out loud. Don't be an imbecile. Anyway what do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Hold that question Harry we have to go eat dinner."

Harry ate dinner with the Weasleys. It was like a normal dinner except for the fact that Harry was sitting right next to Ginny. He knew he just had to keep his eyes off her and on everyone else. The rest of the day was fun and all Harry could think about was playing. They played Quidditch and many more games. Fred and George showed him all their prank stuff and their new ones that they haven't even shown Ron yet. They were geniuses, though it did not show to much on their exams, people like his parents hate this stuff which would make it more fun to use. Harry had loads of fun. Soon it was time to sleep. Tomorrow was the day they leave for Hogwarts. Harry couldn't wait to see what was in store for him and Ron in their journey to be cool get good grades excuse me, not good grades, hot babes and the mystery of how mean a potions teacher with an extremely large nose can be. 

_All right let me se some reviews. And GOOD ones or I will have Ron rap again. _P._S. Even if it is a good review I will have Ron rap again. _


	4. The Train of Dumbies and KnowitAlls

Harry and Ron both woke up. Harry hade a rough night seeing that Ron was snoring like a grizzly bear during hibernation. Harry enjoyed his night other than Ron's little snoring problem. He had kept forgetting about Ron being retarded. Then again how could he ever forget that Ron was mentally retarded. Maybe he was not mentally retarded but you have to admit he is quite retarded. Always let me get back to the story.  
Harry and Ron went downstairs to find nobody there. They were surprised because they knew they would always wake up last. It was a bit awkward. Harry and Ron have never woke up before their parents after the age of five. So they just sat their and talked about what they were going to do when they get to Hogwarts.

"So Harry, what position do you want to be for Quidditch?"

"I really want to be a seaker. It fits me perfectly. I am young, small, skinny, handsome, really cool, and-"

"Wow Harry that is so funny." said Ron extremely sarcastically.

"I may not look like it Ron but I am really fast. You look really look slow."

"You are challenging me to a race are you not Harry Pooter."

"You did not just call me Harry Pooter did you?"

"No, let me, Ronald Weasley, beat you in a race right at this moment Harry James Potter."

Harry and Ron went outside. As they were about to start the race Fred and George came outside and sat to watch.

"Firsties racing brings delightment to a man's morning, especially ours, that is right is it not Fred?"

"You betya George."

Harry and Ron looked at each other. Harry had a really serious look, a competitor's look. As for Ron he had a really big evil smile. When the race started they both ran. Harry was losing to Ron by about ten feet. Then Harry ran like heck and caught up to Ron. He eventually passed him by a big margin. Harry crossed the finish line in first place. He was showboating and Ron was not pleased. Harry just rubbed it in Harry's face until Ron just beat him in arm wrestling. Ron crushed Harry and he won in seven seconds. They stopped their competitions when they eventually got to muggle sports. Fred and George had a good laugh. Later on it was time for breakfast.

"So Harry, Ron, ready for your first year at Hogwarts?"

"Yes Mr. Weasley, Ron and I are ready for the big time."

The moment Harry finished his sentence somebody knocked on the door. It was Harry's parents. They came because his mom wanted to see him before he left and his dad hade to go with Harry because for you people who like to skip my chapters he is the defense against the dark arts teacher. So as the time came, Harry and Ron were ready to leave for the magical world of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

"Come on Ron, we have got to sit here, we were really late and everywhere else was full except for the compartment that we are going to sit in."  
When they sat a girl came and sat next to them. She introduced herself. Her name was Hermione Granger. They talked so much about the journey that awaited them. When they left the train the made friends with an almost half giant. His name was Hagrid. Harry set up a meeting with him, Harry, Hermione, and Ron. They also met another boy named Draco Malfoy. He was really dumb. He is the dumb one and Hermione is the know it all. Even though Ron is always the retard, Malfoy actually said he would like to be friends with them until Harry shoved him. 

"HELP! NO! I DO NOT WANT TO DIE! screamed Harry. 

What happened?

_Sorry it was a short chappie. I have so many tests coming up that I can barley stop reading my science book or a bunch of other nonsense that is getting in the way of my fan fic. Chapters five and six will be much longer._


	5. Day Numero Uno

"Ron you took my cookie, I will surely die."

"Calm down Harry, here is your cookie."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione went inside and looked around in amazement. They couldn't believe that they were finally at Hogwarts. Harry saw an old lady, probably in her sixties; wait at a big door for all the kids. Everyone walked over there. Harry knew that all the older students were inside. When everyone got there she began to talk.

"Hello everyone, my name is Professor McGonagall. I will be your Transfiguration teacher this year. When he go when we go in you will be put into your house. There are four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Huffelpuff, and Slytherin."

Harry saw Draco Malfoy nod his head at two boys behind him when she said Slytherin.

"Your house is like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points for your house, any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year the house with the most points will win the house cup.

"Professor McGonagall, I need you."

"Yes, what is it Hagrid?"

They spoke quietly so no one could hear them.

"An owl was sent to Harry Potter, it is late and you need to give it to him now."

"Harry Potter, you have been sent an owl."

"Where is my mail then?"

"The mail is the owl."

"Sweetness."

"Yes it is sweetness, put it with your bags and get back here."

Harry went and he dropped off his owl. He decided to name her Hedwig. As he went back it was time to go in.

When they went in Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in awe. They place was extremely big.

"When I call your names come up and I will put the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted. Hermione Granger."

'Right, Gryffindor.'

"Draco Malfoy."

'Slytherin.'

The hat barely touched Malfoy's head when it called Slytherin.

"Ronald Weasley."

"Ah, I see we have another Weasley, Gryffindor!"

"Susan Bones."

"Ah, yes, let me see here, Huffelpuff."

While the sorting hat was deciding where Susan Bones would be Harry was watching his dad while his dad was talking to a small man. He said that the small man taught Charms. His name was Professor Flitwick.

"Harry Potter."

"Tough choice here. You are brave, have a mind, and a thirst to prove yourself, I think since all the Potters went here you might as well, Gryffindor."

Harry ran to the Gryffindor table and saw a man with a long white beard. He knew that was Dumbledore. His dad gave him a thumb up. Harry sat and watched the rest. The last person sorted was Neville Longbottom into Gryffindor. Dumbledore then stood up.

"Let the feast begin."

At that moment food appeared an all the empty plates. There were mashed potatoes, chicken, fries, salad, hot dogs, and so may more things.

_The reason I won't tell you those things is it will make your mouth water insanely. If it already is take a break, grab some food, and read this marvelous story of mine._

As you all expect Ron grabbed some chicken and started to stuff his face. Harry though only took one piece of chicken.

"Harry I forgot to tell you, I have a fifth brother, his name is Percy and he is the dude sitting next to you."

"Hello."

"Hello."

"What year are you in." 

"I am in my fifth year."

"So, is the first year hard?"

"It is as hard as cracking an egg on Ron's head."

"Well that is quite easy."

"Of course, the hardest thing is probably making a chair float in mid air."

_Ding Ding Ding_

"I have a few announcements to make. Just for the first years the Forbidden Forest is well…forbidden to all students. Never enter the third floor, on the right hand side, is a place for people who want to die a most painful death. Anyways first years note, along with everyone, that Qudditch tryouts will begin on the fifteenth of October. In other news, Fred and George, don't tear off that toilet seat and send it to your little sister like you planned, it is no use."

"How did he know about that?"

"Harry, the man is a mad genius, in other words he has his own loopy ways to find out about things."

"You are all dismissed. First years follow the prefects."

Harry followed Percy along with all the other first year Gryfindors up to the seventh floor. He saw all the amazing portraits on the walls and the staircases moving. Harry imagined himself falling off the staircase and wondered how we avoid not falling.

"So here we are, Gryffindor"

"Password."

"She is the fat lady. You tell her the password to get in. The password is peepee."

"No it is not."

"Yes it is. Dumbledore told me."

"Well he is wrong."

"What kind of prefect doesn't know the password?"

"I am just joking. Get in. All I wanted was a good laugh."

"So this is the Gryffindor common room. First year girls rooms are to the right, first floor, same for the boys but yours is on the left. All of your belongings are already in your rooms."

Harry and Ron went upstairs and they saw three other boys there. They knew that they were their roommates.

Harry spoke first, "So what are your names?"

"Well what is your name?'

"I asked first."

"Well you know what, I asked second."

"Alright give it up."

"Fine, my name Seamus Finnegan.

"I am Neville Longbottom."

"I am Dean Thomas."

"I am Ron Weasley."

"I am Harry Potter."

"I am Professor McGonagall telling you kids to go to sleep; you will find your schedules for the month under your sheets.'

"You're head of Gryffindor house?'

"Of course I am, I have been for sixty-seven years."

_So much for being in her sixties Harry thought _

"What about my dad?"

"He is not the head of any house; it was either Slytherin or nothing."

"Well between Slytherin and nothing I would choose nothing."

"Well get some sleep."

"Hey guys, do you have the same schedule as us?"

"All Gryffindors have the same schedule. In our third year we can have different classes."

"So we have Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs, Defense against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, double Charms with the Ravenclaws, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, and finally Potions with the Ravenclaws."

"Not a bad schedule after all is it."

"What is tomorrow?"

"Thursday."

"Ron, remember we have to go to Hagrid's on Friday."

"Oh yeah, o.k. remind Hermione tomorrow."

"Good night."

"Good night."

"Good night."

"Good night."

"Ron, don't even think about rapping 'good night.'"

"I wasn't gong to but that is a great idea."

Once again, Ickle McRonald began to rap.

"I lay in bed, say good night, shake it up, and say good night, _clap clap, _good night, _clap clap, _good night."

"Ron, shut the heck up NOW."

"No."

"That is it, please work, EXPELIARMOUS."

"Ow, dude you hit my butt."

"Remember, I told I would if you would rap again. So go to sleep, all of you."

"Good night."

"DO-NOT-START-IT-AGAIN!"

"Harry, just so you know I have made this new rap song but I will not sing it until tomorrow if we have a very good first day. So get some earplugs."

"Ron you already disturbed me in my happy place, my bubble, and my ears are going to fall off any day now so if you feel the need to rap please show somebody else and not me, I have been ticked off enough by you insane rapping. Now let me sleep, it was my last personal happy place until you became my roommate, so at least let my dreams be a happy place and do not appear in them or I will go insane."

"Harry, as your first friend of the wizarding world I would like to say that you were not my first friend and are already insane. My first friend was professor cuddles. He was my favorite teddy bear. I had so much fun with that little guy."

_Hold up. Teddy Bears? I am getting way off topic. But who doesn't want to hear about Ronald Weasley's first and favorite teddy bear? I mean yes it is off topic but man is it funny to hear about people spilling their personal secrets, especially if it is a boy talking about his teddy bear, Professor Cuddles, I mean laugh with me hahahahaha!!! Man I am getting really insane, but it fun being insane, you should all try it. Anyway, back to Ron's teddy bear discussion._

"Ron, you had a teddy bear named Professor Cuddles?'

"Unfortunately, Fred and George would shoot their black eye spray at me. It makes it look like you have a black eye. If I didn't take the bear and sleep with it, they would shoot it at themselves and me saying I punched them, then missed and punched myself.

"Ron, just sleep, we all need sleep some and it is getting very late, man I sound like my mother."

Harry was ready for tomorrow; he would show everyone he could already perform an expeliarmous. He was going to show the world he was numero uno, number one, but would that be a good thing?

Harry looked at Malfoy and he…

**A/N: I do not know. Maybe if you write some reviews I might. So REVIEW! And he what? Review and I will tell you.**


	6. Teachers and the Plan

Harry woke up. What a dream. He saw that everybody was awake except for Ron, of course. Everyone was gathering their wands and getting ready for their first class of the wizarding world, Transfiguration. Harry knew that Hermione loved Transfiguration. She would probably answer all the questions and get many points for Gryffindor. Neville was trying to wake up Ron, eventually Ron woke up. He hurried to get his stuff and he went into the Gryffindor common room. Harry was the last to go down and when he did Ron and Hermione were waiting for him. They left the Gryffindor common room and headed for the first floor. As they went they met Peeves. He was the poltergeist, only the Bloody Baron, Slytherin ghost could control him.

"Look, it is Potty, Weasel, and Ganger, how fun it will be to throw dung bombs at them!"

"Hello Bloody Baron."

"Ahhhhhhhhhh."

"Nice one Harry."

"It was a good one. Anyways we have five minutes to get to Transfiguration."

So the trio went and passed many first years rushing to their fist class. Harry, Ron, and Hermione went and got to the first floor. They sat in a row for four. Eventually everyone got their and class, along with the year, had begun.

"Hello Gryffindors and Huffelpuffs. Once again my name is Professor McGonagall. In Transfiguration you will be changes non-living stuff. If we are good throughout the year we might get into living animals. Today will just write notes on how we change something into something else. Everybody write. You need to keep focus on the object or animal, think about it and it only. You must think about the object you are that is going to appear. Let me say take this rat for example. I want to change it into a worm. I think deeply about both animals and wave my wand. Just in a moment both animals change."

Harry was amazed. This was so cool. He just had a sudden thought. He raised his hand.

"Yes Mr. Potter."

"I was wondering, are you an animagius?'

"Yes, I can change into a cat, would you all like to see."

"Yes."

"Alright, just watch closely."

In a moment Professor McGonagall changed into a cat. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in a bit of awe. In another moment she changed back into a human. A lot of people were staring.

"Alright so just copy the notes on the board and that is the lesson for today."

When the bell rang Harry, Ron, and Hermione left and they got ready to go to Defense against the Dark Arts. It was on the fourth floor. Harry wondered what his dad was going to do. He was nervous that it was with Slytherins, his dad might embarrass him in front of all of them. When he got there with Ron and Hermione all the Slytherins were there. Harry sat down and saw his dad. When everyone arrived Harry's dad began the lesson.

"Hello class, I am Professor Potter."

"Can we call you PP then?" said Malfoy.

"Ten points from Slytherin. Another remark from anyone and they will be receiving thirty points away from their house. Anyway, you will learn in this class some of the basic jinxes. In the end you might be able to cast a spell like expeliarmous. Yes Harry?"

"I can already cast expeliarmous."

"Yeah, he casted it on my behind." Said Ron.

"Alright Harry, come and show everyone that you can cast it.

Harry went up. His dad stood about seven feet to his side. He casted the spell and Harry's dad's wand flew right into Hermione's hand. All of the Gryffindor's along with his dad were clapping. All of the Slytherins had giant frowns on their faces.

"Excellent work Harry. Anyway for the year we will practice a few different spells. Copy some notes on the board."

Malfoy saw Harry and their eyes met. Malfoy sniggered and Harry gave an evil laugh. When the class was over Malfoy met outside with Harry.

"You think you are so cool knowing that spell Potter?"

"No, I know that I am cool."

"Ooooooooooo" said everybody around.

"Well Potter, ready to fight?"

"Just go take your temper medications Malfoy and leave me to walk by with some fame."

"You know what Potter?"

"What is it big mouth Malfoy?"

"That is Enough Malfoy. Another ten points from Slytherin." Said Harry's dad as he came.

"Thanks dad. I could have handled him but I could not have taken a total of twenty points away from him."

"Alright Harry, get going to your next class, you do not want to be late."

"That was bloody brilliant Harry." Called Ron.

"Malfoy did really deserve didn't he?" said Hermione.

"He sure did."

"Well let's go to charms."

Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to charms on the second floor. Ron was excited because it was going to be his favorite subject. As they got there they saw Professor Flitwick sitting on a stack of chairs. When all the Gryffindors and all the Ravenclaws got there Professor Flitwick started the lesson.

"Everybody settle down so we can begin the lesson. In charms this year we will be learning how to make items float. We will first practice the wrist movements; in charms wrist movements are almost as important as the incantation. We will practice now. A way to know to do the movement is the swish and flick method. All do it know and practice."

For a while they did the wrist movements. Harry thought it was a piece of cake. He couldn't wait to try to use it on something. They did it all of the double period. It was extremely boring. Harry knew that the next lesson would be as easy as cake. It got so good to see Ron fall asleep.

"Ronald Weasley, wake up!" shouted Professor Flitwick as he threw a book at him.

"Who, what, when, where, why!"

Harry and Hermione had a good laugh at that. The rest of the lesson was pretty boring but Harry managed not to fall asleep as Ron did. The bell rang a little later and they left charms to go to Herbology.

"That was really quite boring. I mean all I did was sleep and wake up."

"Do not forget that a midget teacher threw a book at you."

"You are you calling a midget Mr. Weasley? You have a mind as little as little as Professor Snape's heart."

"Well first of all that is saying something but Harry called you a midget."

"Do not be foolish boy, and never blame other classmates for something they did not do but you are too lazy to even care!"

With his final words Professor Flitwick threw one more book at Ron and he was utterly upset. He was so angry Snape could have given him a detention and he would have just called Snape a hairy, old, gasbag with an abnormally, extremely, huge, fat…

_If you want you can read the entire list or just skip ahead to Hermione talking. And yes, Hermione says the next thing to be spoken._

…ugly, weird, gross, creepy, elephant size, huge nose with a bunch of little pimples popping up every second, like Fred and George with their pranks.

"Are you o.k. Ronald?"

"Yes, I guess that I am felling a little bit better."

"Well because you started to look like an angry pussycat."

"What did you just call me Hermione?"

"A called an angry pussycat."

"Why in Merlin's name would you call me that?"

"I mean this in the nicest way Ronald, you are an angry pussycat."

"Hermione you are very lucky we are at Herbology right now or I would say words that you would question me if I kiss my mother with my mouth."

"Well Ron," Harry spoke out as they got their gear for Herbology on and entered the green house, "Do you kiss your mother with your mouth."

"Occasionally. I usually just go to sleep when she least expects it."

"Then again Ron you go to sleep when we expect it. When it is boring, Ron is snoring."

"That is not funny Harry, and I do not snore."

"Hey, Seamus, Ron says he does not snore when he sleeps."

"Please give me a moment Harry."

Seamus turned around and started laughing insanely.

"Ron not snoring is a one hundred percent fairy tale. Headline news on the Daily Prophet, Ronald Weasley, first year Gryffindor, did not snore."

Harry and Seamus were laughing while Hermione just had here 'boys are so weird' face and then Professor Sprout came in.

"Good afternoon, I am Professor Sprout. There are many rules you must follow here in the green house. One important rule is no shouting, it will wake up the baby mandrakes and the second years will get angry. Do you have something to say Miss. Granger?"

"Don't mandrakes, or mandgoras, have a cry that can be fatal."

"Yes, for your second year knowledge I award a special fifty points to Gryffindor for its very smart child."

Hermione was blushing and Harry and Ron were happy to get off to a good start. Professor Sprout explained all about the rules of the green house and everything you need to know the difference from a poison and something that can heal your body. It was pretty weird; Harry did not know that there were ninety-nine trillion, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine different types of plants. Hermione than told Harry that it was just a joke.

"I did not know it was a joke, she seemed to be very serious."

"I even knew that there were way less plants then that, I even was laughing at the idea."

"Alright, well let's just hope that we can live through potions, Snape will probably deduct twenty points from me just because I sat in the wrong seat. Then he will deduct points for sitting, then looking, then breathing, then living, then dying, then being buried, then-"

"You need to just calm down mate. You are thinking of him like a mass murderer."

"Ron, if you know he is not a mass murderer then why don't you prove it me."

"Well, Dumbledore trusts him that has to be a sign that he is o.k."

"Well we will find out."

"Hello class, I am Snape the potions master. What happens in this room stays in this room. LISTEN TO ME POTTER!

"I was just thinking that your nose is as big as a pile of camel poop."

"Potter, are going to have detention and twenty points from Gryffindor. I will make sure you don't skip it. I know you will try, I am not STUPID."

"You not being stupid is the biggest news I have heard all year."

"Anyways besides Mr. Harry Potter trying to make a fool of me…"

"Which I did."

"Potions is a unique subject. No wands are needed. You use your brain and make the potion that I tell you. You grab the materials from the shelf and mix your ingredients together to make the thing I tell you to make. Now all of you will copy the board and when I say all of you that means you also have to copy it Mr. Potter. The last two lines explain your homework. For the people who do not know, first years have Saturday and Sunday off, if you did not know that you must live in a world of dread, just like most people do after a very hard life."

Harry was starting to think that Snape had a very hard life. He was felling sorry for Snape, but than he remembered he hated very much. The rest of potions was so boring that Ron was about to fall asleep. The reason he did not fall asleep is because a little, very little teacher can hurt and embarrass him he did not want to know what Snape would do to him. When class was over Harry ran to leave and fell down. Snape looked at him with a very angry look in his eye.

"I will see you tomorrow Potter for detention. I will tell you what your punishment will be then.

Harry left and went to the Great Hall for dinner. He saw his dad and went up to him. He told what Snape had done and he needed to know advance spells so he could quadruple Snape's nose size.

"Harry, Snape hates me so he obviously hates you. It will just be going down generation to generation."

"Of course it will not dad. Snape is too much of a git for anybody to marry him."

"That is true. No go to the common room. Hermione told Seamus who told Dean who told Fred who told George who told Ron who told me that Hermione wants you in the common room. You might want to hurry."

Harry ran upstairs and he stopped at the fifth floor to take a pee. When he got to the seventh floor he ran into Hagrid. Hagrid usually never leaves the grounds. He said he needed Fred and George. Harry said that they are in their shop on to the far left of the Gryffindor common room. When he got into the Gryffindor common room he saw Hermione sitting down on a couch by herself. He sat next to her and she said what she wanted to say."

"Do you want to get rid of your anger of Snape by doing a spell on Malfoy?"

"Yes, you know a spell?"

Hermione sat there and whispered the entire spell and her plan. Harry had no clue that Hermione had some evil in her. He absolutely loved it. He said he would do it on Sunday. Everyone would be off to see him. The plan was devious. They were going to…

**A/N: Well that was enjoyable. I changed it so it could be longer and more descriptive. Leave a review in that box on the bottom of the page author or not.**


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